By Jean Michel Lemaire

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Julia came to fear his silence and did everything she could think of to please him. In therapy, Julia learned to recognize how her anxiety attacks were based on the patterns she had developed in childhood in response to the delayed punishment process practiced by her parents. Once she understood this and was able to remind herself that she responded according to old patterns in current situations, she experienced significant reduction in frequency and intensity of the felt anxiety. So far, clinically, treatment could be regarded as successful.

When Helen was almost 18 years old she started dating and the sexual abuse stopped. ” Around this time her older sister Nancy was getting ready to leave the home. She had found a job in another town. Before she left, Nancy and Helen discussed what to do about the safety of their youngest sister, Lisa. They were in a quandary: they knew their mother would not be of any help yet they thought Lisa was still too young to be told. They decided that Helen would confront their father and warn him that they would expose him if he tried to abuse Lisa.

He had planned a visit to his father’s home in a neighboring state over the weekend and wanted to wear the shirt. Compared with the wife’s expressed fear, her husband’s emotional state now appeared oddly calm. He did not deny having hit her, but did not express remorse. He pushed his wife’s sleeve up on her arm and almost with pride pointed to some recent scars on her forearm that looked as if someone had extinguished burning cigarettes on her skin. “This is what she gets when she does not obey me” was his comment.

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